My Wife...

Ok, so this is another blog-jacking by Ash. Sarah isn’t aware that I’m writing this, because, in fact, I’m not writing it on the blog. I’m writing it on my laptop and plan to copy and paste it to the blog. “Why,” you ask, “all the secrecy?” It’s simple. I think that if Sarah was aware of what I am writing, she’d probably have a heart attack of embarrassment because I just really want to take a few minutes to share something I love about my wife. (She’s the cute one in the picture above. I like this picture because it so captures an aspect of our relationship. She’s my best friend. No, ifs, ands, or buts. There is an easy silence in which I can rest with her, and this picture catches a hint of that.) You see, there are lots of things that I love about her, but I have been reminded afresh of a couple of the most important ones here recently.

My wife is someone who challenges me… in a VERY good way. Let me explain…

Over the last week I’ve spent a decent amount of time reading through Philippians. This past weekend I was primarily focused on Philippians 3 and I was gripped by this chapter. In particular God keeps calling to my mind a couple of phrases from this passage. Paul says in v. 3 that “we are… the ones who serve by the Spirit of God, boast in Christ Jesus, and do not put confidence in the flesh.” As I look at Sarah I can say with absolute certainty that I do not know ANYone else who embodies this verse more so than she. Additionally, when Paul talks of counting everything to be a loss in comparison to knowing Christ, Sarah is the first person that comes to my mind. It is not enough to her to know about Christ… she hungers to actually know Him.

Today I was also reading over our church’s Core Commitments and was once again reminded of Sarah. (Mind you, these are no where near Scripture, but they are an honest attempt by a body of believers to verbalize what, according to the Bible, is most important for us as followers of Christ.) For the sake of brevity I won’t include them all here, but feel free to read them more in detail on our church’s website (I think Sarah has a link on the right). I actually was overcome with gratitude for my wife when I read the fifth one in particular. This is what it says…

Authenticity in our Spiritual Life
We are not here to pretend. We desire a real and genuine relationship with God and we will settle for nothing less. We recognize that means that we must be real and genuine in all our life toward God. As Jesus put it, “true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth, for such people the Father seeks to be his worshipers.” We are committed to being such people and will heed our Lord’s call to guard ourselves against all forms of hypocrisy. For us it is a simple matter: we want to live the full reality Jesus made known and there is only one way to really do that – and that is to live it from the heart. At a time when it is extremely hard to live authenticity and yet very easy to look authentic, we choose the hard course. We will live the God-ward life without pretense or we will not live it at all. (John 4:24)

I am overcome with gratitude to God because I have a wife that frightens me at times. God has so taken hold of her that her life was transformed and she still hasn’t gotten over that! She will be the first to tell someone that she is the chief of sinners, and the thing is… she actually believes it! It’s not just lip-service. I really think that’s why she can talk to anyone about Jesus Christ and how He has rescued her, and they love her for it. She genuinely feels that she is the biggest sinner out there and so she genuinely loves all with whom she comes in contact. And because Jesus has forgiven her and transformed her, she wants to share that life transformation with others… regardless of who they are. Honestly, this is also why she frightens me…

God uses Sarah to convict me of my own laziness and pride.

My laziness in that I am often too complacent and lazy to actually get off my backside and engage with people in the real world and share the good news of Christ with them. I’m an introvert by nature, and the easier thing for me is to not really get involved in the nitty gritty of life with people… or more accurately… not to let them get involved in the nitty gritty of my life. I am uncomfortable sharing things that are important to me, and so I just go with the flow… LAZY.

My pride in that if I’m really honest I keep slipping into this messed up mindset, that I start to think I’m not really that bad. I lose sight of how hopeless I really am apart from Christ. In short, I forget the wonder of the sacrifice that saved me. Sarah still hasn’t got over the fact that Jesus died for HER, but I often take it for granted. Have I actually gotten over the amazing truth of the gospel transforming my life? Sadly, at times, if I’m honest, it seems like I have. And Sarah’s authenticity, transparency, and passion for the God who saved her only serves to condemn my prideful complacency.

And so, last night, God brought me back to Acts 20:26-27. Paul tells the Ephesians that he is innocent of everyone’s blood because he did not fail to tell anyone the whole gospel. I wonder, will I be able to say that at the end of my life? I pray that I will. And I could easily write it off and say I’m just taking something too seriously or that this sort of passion doesn’t really work today, in this culture. But then... there’s Sarah. God uses her passion and fire to convict me that, in fact, I’m not taking what He has done seriously enough. I’m not blameless before all men, as I ought to be. I’m often a lazy, arrogant coward who doesn’t look for opportunities God provides for me to share the amazing truth of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, and how it genuinely has transformed me. And that’s an uncomfortable, convicting, and frightening thing. And I’m THANKFUL for it!

But that’s not the end of it… you see, I’m also very comforted in the fact that God has also kept bringing me back to the beginning of Philippians… 1:6… where Paul says that Jesus will make good on what He started. He will be faithful to complete the good work He began in me all those years ago. And so I’ve spent this week convicted about my own failures to share Christ with others, in a way almost envious of the passion Sarah has, and all the while thanking God for the wonderful blessing of my wife!

And Sarah, when you read this… I hope you won’t be too upset. I’m thankful to have you as my wife, God has used you mightily to grow me more into the man He wants me to be. And I have had all these things tumbling around in my head that I just had to get out. I love you, Sarah, and I wouldn’t want any other partner with whom to embark on this rescue mission. A certain quote comes to mind, Love:

“No reserves. No retreats. No regrets.” – William Borden (found written in the back of his Bible when he died at the age of 25 as a missionary in Egypt)

Thanks for being the woman you are. Don’t let anything or anyone quench your hunger for more of Christ. I love you. And I'm thankful for the miracle of Christ in you.